A Call To Responsible Citizens

“WE CALL UPON responsible citizens and officers of government everywhere to promote those measures designed to maintain and strengthen the family as the fundamental unit of society,” an excerpt from The Family, A Proclamation to the World. This statement has always caused me a pang of guilt. What am I doing to defend and strengthen the family? I always answer myself by reassuring myself that I am doing my part by raising children with good morals and strong beliefs. That is not enough.

Through this lesson my eyes have been open to some of the things I need to be aware of; “I am convinced that promoting strong marriage is the best way to strengthen the family,” (Hakwins, Ch 25, pg 270). And things I need to be proactive in, “As a society, how can we help young people find safer and more effective pathways to healthy marriages?” (pg 270) Because the proclamation holds me responsible to be an advocate for strengthening

families, not just my own, I need to be proactive.

Here are some ideas from the reading that I plan on implementing. Volunteer in community initiatives that are centered on strengthening marriage and families. Actively participate with the youth in my church and my community. Be aware of what laws are trying to be passed and vote. Once the law is passed be aggressive in finding out how it will be implanted and what you can do to support and help the implementation of the law. Lastly I can share and defend my beliefs on the institution of marriage and family with those I come in daily contact with. I need to do better and extend my focus on defending the family outside of my home and bring it to my friends and neighbors.

Hi-Ho Hi-Ho It's Off To Work We Go

I have truly loved learning about family work in chapter 21 of the book, Successful Marriages and Family. The principles taught will benefit my family and our growth as we come together to learn how to work and see the blessings that come from working together. In this post I want to share some of my favorite quotes and ideas from the chapter.

• "Thus Christ suggests that humble, serving work is central, truly for our sakes." I love this quote because it really puts an emphasis on the importance of helping others. As if our lives depend on it.
• "Few things in life are as small, simple, or of seemingly little value as the everyday tasks we do for family members." This quote followed Elder Neal A Maxwell's words that state, these seemingly small moments are life's largest defining moments. I especially love this because my love language is, Acts of Kindness.
• "A significant contemporary challenge for families is to find ways to cooperate in meaningful family work." This statement reminded me that individual cleaning is good but we also need to unite in projects together as a family.
• "In an eternal perspective, the purposes of home fostering growth, forging unity, and learning charity- far exceed economic advantage or efficiency criteria." Beautifully stated, a home should not operate on the criteria of economic advantage.
• "A loving family atmosphere reflects the rhythm of daily life rather than the artificial demands of planner and clock." Too often we are driven by the demands of the outside world rather than the inside of our home and the people that matter the most.
• "Money distorts family feeling and weakens the member's mutual support." I can truly identify with this statement as I have seen the difference in myself, my husband and my children when the work is done for money and when the work is done for the purpose of strengthening home and family.
• "Parents may be easily convinced to fall back on recipes for childrearing." I love this statement, no one knows and loves your children like you do besides the Lord. Go to him when you need help instead of how to books.
• Lastly, insisting on children helping does not damage them it aids in their discovering their true worth it tells them, "I need you. You are an essential member of our family. We cannot get along without you."

Successful Marriages and Family, Proclamation Principles and Research Perspectives, Chapter 21, pg 213-221.

Three Dimensions of Faith and Family

Dimension 1

Religious Community and Family
"It takes a village to raise a child. Our congregation is the village that we have chosen to focus our energies on.. When we work with people, it helps us to keep our own struggles in a better perspective and they don't become a burden, just a part of life.," Successful Marriages and Families, Proclamation Principles and Research Perspectives (Marks, Dollahite, Freeman, CH 18, pg 185). Our family has moved many times and each time we were always greeted openly by a new village. I am so thankful for the gospel that unites us as a village. "I personally believe that people are at their happiest when they're serving others...Service in the Church...is based on doing things for other people, going outside yourself," (LDS Father of six, CH 18, pg 186). I have so much love and gratitude in my heart for those that serve and love my children. At stake conference last month Brother and Sister Roundsville gave a lesson on family history, later that afternoon the kids found 18 family names that needed baptisms. The following Saturday their dad took them to the temple and they performed the ordinances for their ancestors. I felt so blessed to have the Roundsvilles be part of the village that is helping to raise our children. I was sure to tell them just that!

 Dimension 2
Religious Practices and Family
"Praying together as a family and reading the scriptures...together is probably the best thing we do to pull us toward Heavenly Father and each other," (Marks, Dollahite, Freeman, CH 18, pg 188). Prayer in marriage can bring resolution to conflicts, outwardly observe expressions of faith and love and emotional validation. Family prayer as a ritual brings closeness to all members of the family, it is not the only religious ritual that can influence our children. All religious rituals act as strengthening tools for family and renews and relationships.

Dimension 3
Religious Beliefs and Family
"There's something that...when as a family your hearts are pointed together toward the same thing," (Marks, Dollahite, Freeman, CH18, pg 191). No matter how strong our beliefs or how much we teach about them without the proper practice and example our beliefs have no meaning. Quality family and marriage experiences, stability, and satisfaction is enhanced by the involvement of religious beliefs and practices.

Social Science evidence shows that successful marriages and families are established and maintained even during life storms when shared beliefs, faith and principles connect the family.

Good Wholesome Recreation

Recreation takes work? Yes, some good wholesome recreation takes effort and has a workload attached. There is very little instant gratification attached to wholesome recreation. “Activities that appear to be fun or pleasurable do not necessarily lead to a good life,” (Widmer, Taniguchi, Chapter 22, pg 226). Electronics provide instant gratification. Recreation that does not offer instant gratification can bring family together not only in entertaining ways but also as they work together.

Our family loves to kayak down the Rio Grande. It is fantastic wholesome recreation that is sandwiched in between work, play, work. It takes a lot of teamwork to get the kayaks to the river and out of the river. Many of our activities that get us off the couch out from behind the electronics and outdoors take planning, labor and time. It is always worth the effort to see the smiles, growth and love that evolves through good wholesome planned recreation.

That does not mean that all wholesome recreation has to be time consuming and labor intensive. “We live in a world full of opportunities to engage in wholesome family recreation, if we know where to look for them,” (pg 233). Whether you are home, close to home or far away good wholesome recreation that is planned and carried out with love brings family closer together. Our family loves a good football game, playing at the park and community events. Good wholesome recreation creates communication, skill development, memories, traditions and quality time together.  

Finding Happiness

“Happiness in family life is most likely to be achieved when founded upon the teachings of the Lord Jesus Christ. Successful marriages and families are established and maintained on principles of faith, prayer, repentance, forgiveness, respect, love, compassion, work, and wholesome recreational activities,” (The Family, A Proclamation to the World)

Faith, prayer, repentance, forgiveness, respect, love, compassion, work and wholesome recreational activities equals happiness. When you are progressing towards God you will always find happiness. God’s great plan for all of his children is appropriately called, The Plan of Happiness. Happiness achieved in your earthly state as well as in the eternities to come.


Satan does not wish us to be happy on earth or eternally. He does and will do all he can to tempt, persuade, destroy and confuse God’s children and their progression towards him. “Understanding the intent of the enemy is a key prerequisite to effective preparation,” David A Bednar.

Finding and keeping happiness in your life is not a great mystery. Live as God intended and be happy. Be bound by Satan’s tactics and be miserable. It is important to be able to identify what actions bring short term happiness and which bring long term happiness. Having an eternal companion and raising a family under the direction of God brings long term happiness. Disobeying God’s law for a bit of “fun” only lasts until the fun ends and then is replaced with feelings of remorse, guilt and many times unavoidable consequences. It may help to understand that God loves you unconditionally, Satan only wants to use you and is jealous of you.

How can you find happiness? Look to God, follow His plan and live his commandments. Don’t ever give up on happiness. Adam fell that we might have joy. The Savior died so that we could find forgiveness and a fresh start. If you are seeking the secret to happiness, search no further than the Father of Heaven and Earth. He loves you, knows you and desires above all for you to find true long term happiness.

WANTED.....A Mother For Four Amazing Children

 If you were to write a job listing for the mother of your children what would it look like?

Help Wanted…

I am looking for someone to mother four amazing children. It is important to know from the beginning that these children belong to God and they each have special divine attributes to offer the world. These attributes will need proper nourishment, support and love in order for the children to flourish and reach their divine potential.

She must…..

Foster positive emotional connections with the children collectively as well as individually.

Provide adequate discipline and regulations that allow the children to make individual decisions.

Be patient with them and respond positively to their bids for attention and affection.

Set rules and guidelines and be proactive in following through with them.

Teach them to work by working alongside them and mentoring their growth.

Allow their weaknesses to foster a deep humility from positive learning experiences.

Provide opportunities for them to learn, grow and develop talents.

Emphasize and foster their positive characteristics.

Play with them and laugh with them.

Help to know and understand that God loves them and that their Savior died for them.
(Successful Marriages and Families, Proclamation Principles and Research Perspective, Ch 10)

Job Qualification: Daily scripture reading, Daily prayer and a deep love of God the father and his son Jesus Christ.

 "Just save the relationship"

(Kathleen H. Hinckley)

Turn Towards Each Other Every Day

Every marriage needs nurturing, love and friendship for survival. Marriage is essential to God’s plan of happiness and keeping and maintaining a marriage relationship takes daily work and effort. Here are some ways to turn towards your spouse on a daily basis as found in, Successful Marriages and Families, Proclamation Principles and Research perspectives. “Get in sync with your partner’s love preferences. Find out how your partner likes to receive love and do those things often,” (Duncan, Zasukha, CH 3)

1. Everyday your spouse will reach out to you with some type of bid for affection, how you respond is crucial to their feeling of being loved and nurtured. Does their bid warrant laughter, concern or an action on your part? Be aware and respond the way you would want to be responded to.

2. How many things can you think of that you do every single day? There are multiple activities that we must do and want to do on a daily basis. Pick a couple of those activities and make a special effort to include your spouse in the activity. Some suggestions include; making the bed, reading together, watching a TV show, doing the dishes, a daily phone call just to talk, making a meal, etc.

3. Stress can build and escalate throughout the day and everyone needs someone to talk to. Be that person for your spouse. Make it a priority to sit with your spouse at the end of the day and talk about how the day went. The most important part of this may not be what is said but how the other person responds. Listen and validate one another with love and tenderness.

4. Let your spouse know that you love and appreciate them every single day with positive communication of love and affection. It is important to know their love preferences to be able to communicate to them clearly.

5. Do not get into the doldrums with your efforts. Take note of what things are working and if you are truly connecting every day. Make changes when needed and keep things real and alive by making enhancements to your daily nurturing, loving and friend shipping of one another.

 My personal favorite advice from the chapter was to talk as friends. Don’t always make our conversations about jobs, kids and problems. Journey back to the conversations that made you fall in love in the beginning. I love this advice. I think when we think of friends we journey outside of our relationship and look for others to be “friends” with to talk to as “friends”. Wouldn’t it be great to have that separate friend connection with the person in your life that you love the most?