A Call To Responsible Citizens

“WE CALL UPON responsible citizens and officers of government everywhere to promote those measures designed to maintain and strengthen the family as the fundamental unit of society,” an excerpt from The Family, A Proclamation to the World. This statement has always caused me a pang of guilt. What am I doing to defend and strengthen the family? I always answer myself by reassuring myself that I am doing my part by raising children with good morals and strong beliefs. That is not enough.

Through this lesson my eyes have been open to some of the things I need to be aware of; “I am convinced that promoting strong marriage is the best way to strengthen the family,” (Hakwins, Ch 25, pg 270). And things I need to be proactive in, “As a society, how can we help young people find safer and more effective pathways to healthy marriages?” (pg 270) Because the proclamation holds me responsible to be an advocate for strengthening

families, not just my own, I need to be proactive.

Here are some ideas from the reading that I plan on implementing. Volunteer in community initiatives that are centered on strengthening marriage and families. Actively participate with the youth in my church and my community. Be aware of what laws are trying to be passed and vote. Once the law is passed be aggressive in finding out how it will be implanted and what you can do to support and help the implementation of the law. Lastly I can share and defend my beliefs on the institution of marriage and family with those I come in daily contact with. I need to do better and extend my focus on defending the family outside of my home and bring it to my friends and neighbors.

Hi-Ho Hi-Ho It's Off To Work We Go

I have truly loved learning about family work in chapter 21 of the book, Successful Marriages and Family. The principles taught will benefit my family and our growth as we come together to learn how to work and see the blessings that come from working together. In this post I want to share some of my favorite quotes and ideas from the chapter.

• "Thus Christ suggests that humble, serving work is central, truly for our sakes." I love this quote because it really puts an emphasis on the importance of helping others. As if our lives depend on it.
• "Few things in life are as small, simple, or of seemingly little value as the everyday tasks we do for family members." This quote followed Elder Neal A Maxwell's words that state, these seemingly small moments are life's largest defining moments. I especially love this because my love language is, Acts of Kindness.
• "A significant contemporary challenge for families is to find ways to cooperate in meaningful family work." This statement reminded me that individual cleaning is good but we also need to unite in projects together as a family.
• "In an eternal perspective, the purposes of home fostering growth, forging unity, and learning charity- far exceed economic advantage or efficiency criteria." Beautifully stated, a home should not operate on the criteria of economic advantage.
• "A loving family atmosphere reflects the rhythm of daily life rather than the artificial demands of planner and clock." Too often we are driven by the demands of the outside world rather than the inside of our home and the people that matter the most.
• "Money distorts family feeling and weakens the member's mutual support." I can truly identify with this statement as I have seen the difference in myself, my husband and my children when the work is done for money and when the work is done for the purpose of strengthening home and family.
• "Parents may be easily convinced to fall back on recipes for childrearing." I love this statement, no one knows and loves your children like you do besides the Lord. Go to him when you need help instead of how to books.
• Lastly, insisting on children helping does not damage them it aids in their discovering their true worth it tells them, "I need you. You are an essential member of our family. We cannot get along without you."

Successful Marriages and Family, Proclamation Principles and Research Perspectives, Chapter 21, pg 213-221.

Three Dimensions of Faith and Family

Dimension 1

Religious Community and Family
"It takes a village to raise a child. Our congregation is the village that we have chosen to focus our energies on.. When we work with people, it helps us to keep our own struggles in a better perspective and they don't become a burden, just a part of life.," Successful Marriages and Families, Proclamation Principles and Research Perspectives (Marks, Dollahite, Freeman, CH 18, pg 185). Our family has moved many times and each time we were always greeted openly by a new village. I am so thankful for the gospel that unites us as a village. "I personally believe that people are at their happiest when they're serving others...Service in the Church...is based on doing things for other people, going outside yourself," (LDS Father of six, CH 18, pg 186). I have so much love and gratitude in my heart for those that serve and love my children. At stake conference last month Brother and Sister Roundsville gave a lesson on family history, later that afternoon the kids found 18 family names that needed baptisms. The following Saturday their dad took them to the temple and they performed the ordinances for their ancestors. I felt so blessed to have the Roundsvilles be part of the village that is helping to raise our children. I was sure to tell them just that!

 Dimension 2
Religious Practices and Family
"Praying together as a family and reading the scriptures...together is probably the best thing we do to pull us toward Heavenly Father and each other," (Marks, Dollahite, Freeman, CH 18, pg 188). Prayer in marriage can bring resolution to conflicts, outwardly observe expressions of faith and love and emotional validation. Family prayer as a ritual brings closeness to all members of the family, it is not the only religious ritual that can influence our children. All religious rituals act as strengthening tools for family and renews and relationships.

Dimension 3
Religious Beliefs and Family
"There's something that...when as a family your hearts are pointed together toward the same thing," (Marks, Dollahite, Freeman, CH18, pg 191). No matter how strong our beliefs or how much we teach about them without the proper practice and example our beliefs have no meaning. Quality family and marriage experiences, stability, and satisfaction is enhanced by the involvement of religious beliefs and practices.

Social Science evidence shows that successful marriages and families are established and maintained even during life storms when shared beliefs, faith and principles connect the family.

Good Wholesome Recreation

Recreation takes work? Yes, some good wholesome recreation takes effort and has a workload attached. There is very little instant gratification attached to wholesome recreation. “Activities that appear to be fun or pleasurable do not necessarily lead to a good life,” (Widmer, Taniguchi, Chapter 22, pg 226). Electronics provide instant gratification. Recreation that does not offer instant gratification can bring family together not only in entertaining ways but also as they work together.

Our family loves to kayak down the Rio Grande. It is fantastic wholesome recreation that is sandwiched in between work, play, work. It takes a lot of teamwork to get the kayaks to the river and out of the river. Many of our activities that get us off the couch out from behind the electronics and outdoors take planning, labor and time. It is always worth the effort to see the smiles, growth and love that evolves through good wholesome planned recreation.

That does not mean that all wholesome recreation has to be time consuming and labor intensive. “We live in a world full of opportunities to engage in wholesome family recreation, if we know where to look for them,” (pg 233). Whether you are home, close to home or far away good wholesome recreation that is planned and carried out with love brings family closer together. Our family loves a good football game, playing at the park and community events. Good wholesome recreation creates communication, skill development, memories, traditions and quality time together.  

Finding Happiness

“Happiness in family life is most likely to be achieved when founded upon the teachings of the Lord Jesus Christ. Successful marriages and families are established and maintained on principles of faith, prayer, repentance, forgiveness, respect, love, compassion, work, and wholesome recreational activities,” (The Family, A Proclamation to the World)

Faith, prayer, repentance, forgiveness, respect, love, compassion, work and wholesome recreational activities equals happiness. When you are progressing towards God you will always find happiness. God’s great plan for all of his children is appropriately called, The Plan of Happiness. Happiness achieved in your earthly state as well as in the eternities to come.


Satan does not wish us to be happy on earth or eternally. He does and will do all he can to tempt, persuade, destroy and confuse God’s children and their progression towards him. “Understanding the intent of the enemy is a key prerequisite to effective preparation,” David A Bednar.

Finding and keeping happiness in your life is not a great mystery. Live as God intended and be happy. Be bound by Satan’s tactics and be miserable. It is important to be able to identify what actions bring short term happiness and which bring long term happiness. Having an eternal companion and raising a family under the direction of God brings long term happiness. Disobeying God’s law for a bit of “fun” only lasts until the fun ends and then is replaced with feelings of remorse, guilt and many times unavoidable consequences. It may help to understand that God loves you unconditionally, Satan only wants to use you and is jealous of you.

How can you find happiness? Look to God, follow His plan and live his commandments. Don’t ever give up on happiness. Adam fell that we might have joy. The Savior died so that we could find forgiveness and a fresh start. If you are seeking the secret to happiness, search no further than the Father of Heaven and Earth. He loves you, knows you and desires above all for you to find true long term happiness.

WANTED.....A Mother For Four Amazing Children

 If you were to write a job listing for the mother of your children what would it look like?

Help Wanted…

I am looking for someone to mother four amazing children. It is important to know from the beginning that these children belong to God and they each have special divine attributes to offer the world. These attributes will need proper nourishment, support and love in order for the children to flourish and reach their divine potential.

She must…..

Foster positive emotional connections with the children collectively as well as individually.

Provide adequate discipline and regulations that allow the children to make individual decisions.

Be patient with them and respond positively to their bids for attention and affection.

Set rules and guidelines and be proactive in following through with them.

Teach them to work by working alongside them and mentoring their growth.

Allow their weaknesses to foster a deep humility from positive learning experiences.

Provide opportunities for them to learn, grow and develop talents.

Emphasize and foster their positive characteristics.

Play with them and laugh with them.

Help to know and understand that God loves them and that their Savior died for them.
(Successful Marriages and Families, Proclamation Principles and Research Perspective, Ch 10)

Job Qualification: Daily scripture reading, Daily prayer and a deep love of God the father and his son Jesus Christ.

 "Just save the relationship"

(Kathleen H. Hinckley)

Turn Towards Each Other Every Day

Every marriage needs nurturing, love and friendship for survival. Marriage is essential to God’s plan of happiness and keeping and maintaining a marriage relationship takes daily work and effort. Here are some ways to turn towards your spouse on a daily basis as found in, Successful Marriages and Families, Proclamation Principles and Research perspectives. “Get in sync with your partner’s love preferences. Find out how your partner likes to receive love and do those things often,” (Duncan, Zasukha, CH 3)

1. Everyday your spouse will reach out to you with some type of bid for affection, how you respond is crucial to their feeling of being loved and nurtured. Does their bid warrant laughter, concern or an action on your part? Be aware and respond the way you would want to be responded to.

2. How many things can you think of that you do every single day? There are multiple activities that we must do and want to do on a daily basis. Pick a couple of those activities and make a special effort to include your spouse in the activity. Some suggestions include; making the bed, reading together, watching a TV show, doing the dishes, a daily phone call just to talk, making a meal, etc.

3. Stress can build and escalate throughout the day and everyone needs someone to talk to. Be that person for your spouse. Make it a priority to sit with your spouse at the end of the day and talk about how the day went. The most important part of this may not be what is said but how the other person responds. Listen and validate one another with love and tenderness.

4. Let your spouse know that you love and appreciate them every single day with positive communication of love and affection. It is important to know their love preferences to be able to communicate to them clearly.

5. Do not get into the doldrums with your efforts. Take note of what things are working and if you are truly connecting every day. Make changes when needed and keep things real and alive by making enhancements to your daily nurturing, loving and friend shipping of one another.

 My personal favorite advice from the chapter was to talk as friends. Don’t always make our conversations about jobs, kids and problems. Journey back to the conversations that made you fall in love in the beginning. I love this advice. I think when we think of friends we journey outside of our relationship and look for others to be “friends” with to talk to as “friends”. Wouldn’t it be great to have that separate friend connection with the person in your life that you love the most? 

I am a woman

The Family, A Proclamation to the World gives me guidance in figuring out my mission and my purpose here on earth. It was purposeful and inspired for me to be a woman. I was a woman in my premortal existence and I will be a woman throughout eternity. What does being a woman mean for me? Some believe that being a woman is cursed by Eve's transgressions. In the book, Successful Marriages and Families, Proclamation Principles and Research Perspectives it states, "A woman's body is no curse, but rather the fullest material expression of her divine potential"(Hudson, Miller, 2011, Ch 4) My gender is divinely appointed and is essential to my mission in mortality.

One of the greatest gifts I have been given as a woman is becoming a mother. My body was designed to create, gestate and nurture another human being. To bring souls out of their premortal existence into mortality, so that they too may gain eternal glory with their Father in Heaven. I cannot and thankfully do not have to go about this alone. Man is needed for the creation and nurturing of children. I am thankful for my husband!

"One gender does not have greater eternal possibilities than the other," (Hudson, Miller, 2011, Ch4). I have never felt suppressed as a woman, my life has always been about the decisions that I make. I know many of those decisions are made because I am a woman; the decision to be a wife, a mother, to forego my education and career to stay home with my children and the decision to support and love my husband in his endeavors. I feel a peace and comfort about my life knowing that God is directing my path because I am his daughter and he needs me to perform my gender specific roles to complete his work on earth. "It is not mans's work or woman's work, it is God's work," (Ballard, Oct 1993). There is also a peace that I feel knowing my husband has gender specific roles that he was divinely designed to accomplish that complement or rather complete mine. 

Being a woman is a magnificent gift! "ALL HUMAN BEINGS—male and female—are created in the image of God. Each is a beloved spirit son or daughter of heavenly parents, and, as such, each has a divine nature and destiny. Gender is an essential characteristic of individual premortal, mortal, and eternal identity and purpose," (https://www.lds.org/topics/family-proclamation?lang=eng). I know that God has a plan for me and that being a woman is part of that plan. He needs me and my feminine qualities to further his work here on earth.

And Two Become One

God has sent many souls male and female to earth to live out their mortal life. Each of those souls with different identities and purposes. Because God has lived a mortal life and all of the challenges that ensue, he knows what is needed for the eternal success for his own children. In 1995 the LDS church released a written statement to the world about the family that explains God's design for males, females and families. "ALL HUMAN BEINGS—male and female—are created in the image of God. Each is a beloved spirit son or daughter of heavenly parents, and, as such, each has a divine nature and destiny...... By divine design, fathers are to preside over their families in love and righteousness and are responsible to provide the necessities of life and protection for their families. Mothers are primarily responsible for the nurture of their children. In these sacred responsibilities, fathers and mothers are obligated to help one another as equal partners." The Family, A Proclamation to the World  God did not send us to earth to fail, he loves us and wants us to return to him, He sent us to succeed and has provided the way.

The way to eternal success is through covenant marriage and the creation of the family. In the book, Successful Marriages and Families, it states, ""God" means an exalted man and exalted woman united in the everlasting covenant of marriage" (Hudson, Miller, 2011, Ch 4). Man needs woman, and woman needs man to become exalted. Because of this God created man and woman to compliment one another and when joined together to become equal or whole, they need each other to be complete. The man's calling and the woman's calling differ but both are need for a successful family. 

In my family my husband is the provider. He wakes up five days a week, early in the morning, and goes to work to provide for our family. I support and love him in this by taking care of and watching over the home in his absence (when he is home this responsibility lies equally between us both), parenting the children and being there for his successes and his failures. Early on in our marriage my support was different. We needed extra income as he pursued an education and his income would not sustain. For many years I cared for children in the home and held an in home preschool to supplement our income. He is now making a good income and supporting my endeavors in education by taking more responsibility at home, with parenting and happily carrying the financial burden. I have seen firsts hand how my identity matched with my husbands is a divine institute and necessity for happiness and fulfillment in life. I am grateful for our differences and for a loving Heavenly Father who perfectly designed us to succeed together. 

3 Principles For the Plan of Redemption

The plan of redemption is essential for individuals and families to progress. The plan of redemption consists of these three doctrinal pillars.

1. The creation of Earth and all mankind

We each experience a creation spiritually and physically. Spiritually through our Heavenly parents and physically through our earthly parents. 

2. The Fall of Adam and Eve

When we are born and leave God we experience a fallen state. We also experience falls in life when we sin and fall away from God's plan for us.

3. The Atonement of Jesus Christ

We experience the atonement when we choose to repent and change our lives. We receive the blessing of forgiveness and healing.

Metaphorically

1. Creation happens often within our lives; getting married, beginning school, the birth of a child, new job, new calling....... This is an optimistic time filled with hope.

2. Falls happen often throughout our lives as well; periods of adversity, affliction, opposition.... This is a difficult reality of your present state.

3. Healing and reconciliation are also part of our mortal life; recognizing the Savior and overcoming tribulation.

Resource: Successful Marriages and Families, Proclamation Principles and Research Perspective; Chapter 32; Author Daniel K. Judd

Family Home Evening Lesson on Divine Destiny

Lesson Plan On “Each of us are a beloved spirit son or daughter of heavenly parents..and..each has a divine nature and destiny”

Song: I Am A Child of God

Prayer:

Object Lesson:

Give everyone a device that tells time and ask them to describe the purpose of time.

Explain that Alma tells us something very important about our time here upon the earth. Alma 34:32.

What is the main purpose of our time here upon the earth? (To prepare to meet God.)

Think about some of the people you know.

From what these people do with their time, does it seem that they believe this scripture and are really trying to prepare to meet God?

Would other people watching you recognize that you are preparing to meet God?

Would a person seriously preparing to meet God eliminate from his life all forms of fun and recreation?

Explain that our earth life is designed for our growth and development. The human child develops best when he is exposed to a variety of experiences. These experiences should be ordered in some way so that they best serve the needs of the developing child. The Lord similarly intends for us to have many different experiences in their proper time and order.

Scripture: Ecclesiastes 3:1–8.

Quotes for each member of the family. After the quote is read have a discussion about its meaning based on the questions. Why is it important for you to know this? How does this knowledge make you feel? And….. How will this knowledge help you grow? (Add other thought provoking questions as you see fit)

Quote 1: “Not only was the doctrine of the eternal family lost to mankind in the centuries following the deaths of Jesus Christ and His Apostles, but the doctrine of the premortal existence for the soul was taken from the earth. The doctrine of premortal existence was restored through the Prophet Joseph Smith, affirming that prior to mortal birth each person born on earth first existed as a spirit son or daughter of heavenly parents.” Daniel K. Judd, chapter 32, Successful Marriages and Family.

Quote 2: “We are created by God; we were created in the image of God; we have heavenly parents- a Father and a Mother; we are literally the spirit offspring of God; our spirit creation includes identity as male or female; we have a divine destiny.” Daniel K. Judd

Quote 3: President George Q. Cannon (1827–1901), First Counselor in the First Presidency: “God has reserved spirits for this dispensation who have the courage and determination to face the world, and all the powers of the evil one, visible and invisible, to proclaim the gospel and maintain the truth and establish and build up the Zion of our God fearless of all consequences. He has sent these spirits in this generation to lay the foundation of Zion never more to be overthrown, and to raise up a seed that will be righteous, and that will honor God, and honor Him supremely, and be obedient to Him under all circumstances.”

Quote 4: “The devil has no power over us only as we permit him; the moment we revolt at anything which comes from God, the devil takes power.” Prophet Joseph Smith

                   “Whatever Jesus lays his hands upon lives.” President Howard W. Hunter  

Quote 5: “ Sadly, some young men and young women in the Church today ignore “things as they really are” and neglect eternal relationships for digital distractions, diversions, and detours that have no lasting value. My heart aches when a young couple—sealed together in the house of the Lord for time and for all eternity by the power of the holy priesthood—experiences marital difficulties because of the addicting effect of excessive video gaming or online socializing. A young man or woman may waste countless hours, postpone or forfeit vocational or academic achievement, and ultimately sacrifice cherished human relationships because of mind- and spirit-numbing video and online games. As the Lord declared, “Wherefore, I give unto them a commandment … : Thou shalt not idle away thy time, neither shalt thou bury thy talent that it may not be known” (D&C 60:13),” David A Bednar.

Quote 6:  We see how Satan can lead us away as we read the words of Korihor, an anti-Christ: “Thus he did preach unto them, leading away the hearts of many, causing them to lift up their heads in their wickedness, yea, leading away many women, and also men, to commit whoredoms” (Alma 30:18). Satan knows that he will never have a body; he will never have a family. So he targets young women, who will create the bodies for the future generations…” Julie B. Beck.

Quote 7: “The story of Isaac and Rebekah is an example of the man, who has the keys, and the woman, who has the influence, working together to ensure the fulfillment of their blessings. Their story is pivotal. The blessings of the house of Israel depended on a man and a woman who understood their place in the plan and their responsibilities to form an eternal family, to bear children, and to teach them. In our day we have the responsibility to send “Isaac” and “Rebekah” forth from our homes and classrooms. Every young man and young woman should understand his or her role in this great partnership—that they are each an “Isaac” or a “Rebekah.” Then they will know with clarity what they have to do,” Julie B. Beck.

               

Activity: Watch Youth Videos

https://www.lds.org/youth/video/guided-safely-home?lang=eng

https://www.lds.org/youth/video/dangerous-tides?lang=eng

Song:  I Belong to the Church of Jesus Christ

Closing prayer:

The Family, A Proclamation to the World

THE FAMILY

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A PROCLAMATION TO THE WORLD

The First Presidency and Council of the Twelve Apostles of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints

WE, THE FIRST PRESIDENCY and the Council of the Twelve Apostles of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, solemnly proclaim that marriage between a man and a woman is ordained of God and that the family is central to the Creator’s plan for the eternal destiny of His children.

ALL HUMAN BEINGS—male and female—are created in the image of God. Each is a beloved spirit son or daughter of heavenly parents, and, as such, each has a divine nature and destiny. Gender is an essential characteristic of individual premortal, mortal, and eternal identity and purpose.

IN THE PREMORTAL REALM, spirit sons and daughters knew and worshipped God as their Eternal Father and accepted His plan by which His children could obtain a physical body and gain earthly experience to progress toward perfection and ultimately realize their divine destiny as heirs of eternal life. The divine plan of happiness enables family relationships to be perpetuated beyond the grave. Sacred ordinances and covenants available in holy temples make it possible for individuals to return to the presence of God and for families to be united eternally.

THE FIRST COMMANDMENT that God gave to Adam and Eve pertained to their potential for parenthood as husband and wife. We declare that God’s commandment for His children to multiply and replenish the earth remains in force. We further declare that God has commanded that the sacred powers of procreation are to be employed only between man and woman, lawfully wedded as husband and wife.

WE DECLARE the means by which mortal life is created to be divinely appointed. We affirm the sanctity of life and of its importance in God’s eternal plan.

HUSBAND AND WIFE have a solemn responsibility to love and care for each other and for their children. “Children are an heritage of the Lord” (Psalm 127:3). Parents have a sacred duty to rear their children in love and righteousness, to provide for their physical and spiritual needs, and to teach them to love and serve one another, observe the commandments of God, and be law-abiding citizens wherever they live. Husbands and wives—mothers and fathers—will be held accountable before God for the discharge of these obligations.

THE FAMILY is ordained of God. Marriage between man and woman is essential to His eternal plan. Children are entitled to birth within the bonds of matrimony, and to be reared by a father and a mother who honor marital vows with complete fidelity. Happiness in family life is most likely to be achieved when founded upon the teachings of the Lord Jesus Christ. Successful marriages and families are established and maintained on principles of faith, prayer, repentance, forgiveness, respect, love, compassion, work, and wholesome recreational activities. By divine design, fathers are to preside over their families in love and righteousness and are responsible to provide the necessities of life and protection for their families. Mothers are primarily responsible for the nurture of their children. In these sacred responsibilities, fathers and mothers are obligated to help one another as equal partners. Disability, death, or other circumstances may necessitate individual adaptation. Extended families should lend support when needed.

WE WARN that individuals who violate covenants of chastity, who abuse spouse or offspring, or who fail to fulfill family responsibilities will one day stand accountable before God. Further, we warn that the disintegration of the family will bring upon individuals, communities, and nations the calamities foretold by ancient and modern prophets.

WE CALL UPON responsible citizens and officers of government everywhere to promote those measures designed to maintain and strengthen the family as the fundamental unit of society.